People Are Not Poetry.

{People are not poetry by Erin Hanson- See more work here}

I've always found writing cathartic. What sometimes comes out, however, can often be more of a ramble. This may be one of those times. Bare with me.

I'm a people pleaser, always putting another ahead of myself. It's been that way for as long as I remember; maybe through life experience more than a conscious choice. Until now, I've mentally struggled with doing so, not so much physically. Almost two weeks ago now, after a day that it's not too appropriate to go into detail about now. My body caught up. An ambulance was sent by order of a late night doctor (or maybe I should mention, the last of the nine doctors I ended up speaking with that evening) and it's put a lot into perspective.

If you follow me on Instagram, you may have seen over the festive season, I shared the poem above. It resonated with me at the time as someone who always tries to fit into every box: loving fiancee, great daughter, a young professional and even a caring friend. It wasn't until over the last week, when I've sat under a blanket thinking a lot about who I am, what I want and how to make it happen, that this poem filled my mind time and time again.

People are not poetry. We don't always fit perfectly into every box, shape, expectation that is wanted from us and from others. For the first time, I feel like that's ok. When I was signed off work, the word 'failure' stuck to me like the glue of my own mind and I've struggled to get it un-stuck. I probably judge myself harsher than I should, but I'm trying to learn that my expectations aren't realistic or even healthy. I'm an awkward person, my hair might not always (read ever) sit neatly, I cancel plans that I want to keep because my health, physical or mental, can stand in my way. Instead of berating myself over it quite so much, I'm trying to treat myself with a little more respect and compassion than I have in the past.

I have so much to look forward to this year and it's about time I dedicated some time and more importantly, love to myself.

As always, would love to hear back from anyone who's similarly a busy-body, a worrier, awkward or judgemental of themselves.

Over & Out,

Sophie.

A Word On The Attacks In Paris...

Friday night my phone was on charge upstairs. When I came up around an hour after the attacks had begun I couldn't sleep. Harps and I stayed up until after midnight, tracking the terror as it unfolded, finally sleeping just after the death toll had been confirmed at over 80. Saturday morning when I woke it had risen to over 120. Yesterday morning I searched the news for updates and a sinking feeling etched through me as I clicked onto Facebook. I knew what was coming. Understandable fear and prayers flooded my newsfeed- solidarity the main theme. Scattered amongst these though were comments of hatred. "Close the borders. We don't know what we're doing letting refugees into Europe. We don't know who they are or what they want." Was one to name a few. As you can imagine, more racist, derogatory, religion-bating posts, likes and shares were also there. From people I deem as friends. It scared me.

I feel quite passionate about sharing my views this morning. They may not be quite the same as yours and thats ok. I really do understand the fear that our world feels. Facebook prompts the world to show solidarity with Paris by changing our profile photo to the tricolore, of course I did this to show my support. But Facebook didn't offer to change the settings for the bombing in Beirut which killed 41 just a few days ago. Or how about the four in Thailand in the same few days? I feel that the western media is something that pokes at our deepest fears when it suits them; disguising the scale of the actual problem when it isn't at our doorstep. In my opinion, by doing so it spreads the fear only when it's applicable to us and isn't it time that we looked at humanity as a whole? 

Unable to sleep again on Saturday night, I lay and thought about my future. A future for Harps and I includes the plans for starting a family. But what kind of world will we be bringing a child into? I spent a few hours debating with someone that I'd consider a family member who was of the opinion that 'All religion should be made illegal.' What a sad view that belief should be policed, erased and destroyed. Isn't belief something that makes humanity so unique, that makes life and freedom so special? How can we carry on in a world where people now suggest that all refugees are a danger to our homes? When these people have witnessed their own homes, villages and families be destroyed by the very same people; not in the name of any kind of religion but in the name of hate. How can we continue to wake up only when it suits us? 

I fear we're on the brink of a whole new world war. I'm almost typing that as a whisper. How much longer can the dictatorship in North Korea continue before the world makes a stand? How much longer can Russia hide their brutal political system, evident of homophobia, missiles and corruption before the world takes a stand? How much longer can Australia hide their horrific prisoner systems before the world takes a stand?  How much longer can America hide their mass surveillance, corrupt powers (and lets face it the list goes on) before the world takes a stand? How much longer will the UK do almost all of the above before the world takes a stand? And finally, how much longer will we keep fearing the good before we start fighting the bad?

I don't believe that the people who's comments angered me yesterday or racist or horrific people in any way (I don't associate myself with those I would consider are or course). But fear and anger spreads and the 1.8 billion muslims in this world are NOT the less than 2% of people who commit these acts. Nor are the over 6.5 million refugees fleeing exactly the same hatred that we fear coming to our shores. Pray for Paris please, but at the same time pray for Beirut, Thailand, Baghdad and the rest of the world.

Love Sophie. Xx

The 'Me Time' Tag.

There's a pretty damn fancy lady over on a certain blog by the name of Danielle, if you're looking for some animal loving, alternative lifestyle, tattoo inspiration or just a generally awesome friend, be sure to check her out at Underland To Wonderland (she also has a snazzy new header!). Tagged by this delicious woman (in a half creepy/half non creepy way) to complete the 'Me Time' tag gives me a nice chance to not only share with you some personal development changes that I'm making but also gives me a chance to force you all into completing the same thing so I can have a good ol nose at your secret lives...


1) What do you watch/ read during 'me time'?

I go through fazes for months of wither reading at a supersonic speed OR reading nothing at all. I flit between just reading the bare minimum on news websites etc to going through 500 page+ novels in a matter of hours. 'A sporadic reader' Harps calls me and it really frustrates him because all of a sudden there'll be ten new books in the house and I'll be zooming through them. On that note, after a good twelve months of not using it, I'm back to updating on Goodreads! Have a little gander at what I'm waiting to read here and let's be reading friends! I have all the guilty pleasures to watch in the world; Catfish, Jeremy Kyle, Millionaire Matchmaker, River Cottage, Come dine with me...the list goes one really. I don't watch any soaps though if that helps?

2) What do you wear during 'me time'?

Errmm...I don't think I can really answer that because it depends what I'm doing. Sometimes it's the obvious pyjamas and dressing gown (not housecoat Leona!) for reading and the mentioned above, binge watching. Sometimes for 'me time' there's nothing nicer then getting dressed up super duper pretty and flouncing around like a princess.

3) What are your 'me time' beauty products?

There's no such thing? I'm not really a beauty kinda gal? I like to pop on a bit of lipstick sometimes when I'm being grown up and fancy? And I still love a bath with lush filled goodies? Does dying my hair count?

4) Current favourite nail polish?

Once again, I don't really have a favourite at the moment? I bit my nails up until literally last year and can only just manage to paint one hand, the other looking like some abstract art piece! So I don't really paint them at all! I've never got my nails done at a fancy nail place though, something I'd quite like to do this year. Out of brands of nail varnish, I really like Soigné, it stays on so well and the colour is always amazing!

5) What do you eat/drink during 'me time'?

I'm becoming a bit of a foodie. I think it must be my age slowly creeping up on me. For years, living with a fussy eater (Harps) meant that I got into a food rut because if I was going to go anywhere to eat, it'd probably be with him. Since last year I've started leaving him behind and catch up days with friends have become less about a cheap pub and more about trying delicious new places to eat. I absolutely LOVE it, it's probably one of my favourite 'me time' things to do and I'm lucky that my friends are also at the age of trying fancy new foods! 

6) Current favourite candle?

Oooh I have a couple, there's a shop near where I work that has Yankee candles for sale pretty cheap so I had a bit of a stock up on their 'fluffy towels' scent. It's heavenly and makes every room smell fresh and snuggly and perfect. For my birthday I was also gifted a Chelsea tea fruits candle that's lasting forever and smells like spring is coming which fills me with joy of course.

7) How do you spend outdoor 'me time'?

Cornwall is just the best for outdoor time and you'll usually find me by a beach or in some woods or flouncing in a field somewhere. That reminds me, this year I'd really like to arrange a blogging picnic! Would anyone be keen for this?

8) Would you go and see a movie alone?

Yeah sure, I've been to the cinema alone before and it's really rather nice! Nobody except the staff know that all that cinema food is just for you, you can sit where you want and no interruptions! Thinking about it, I don't see why I ever go with people!?

9) Favourite online shop?

Ohh hard one! It's probably Etsy but I've got a massive obsession with browsing holiday websites (secretly honeymoon planning commencing!)

10) Anything else to add? Any other thoughts/ plans for 'me time'?

Nope.

I tag some lovely ladies...Leona, Michelle, Sunae, Sam and Louisa...time to get nosey ladies!

Love Sophie Xx

How Would You Rather Be Contacted?

Good morning readers and browsers! I hope that everyone is grasping that get up and go feeling this Monday morning! I know that I sure am! There are some changes happening at the moment which leads me to ask you, quite curiously, to complete this four question survey. I promise that it'll only take you a couple of minutes (if that!) Plus you'll be doing me a huge favour. 

How would you rather be contacted?

Love Sophie Xx

The Art of Thinking Clearly. Does Harvard Make you Smarter?

Good afternoon loved ones. Recently, I have been reading a book that is helping me on the path to cleansing my mind. Since my little confidence wobble a couple of weeks ago, I was searching for something to help my perspective. As someone who has battled with depression from early teens, there isn't many self help books, techniques and teachings that I haven't come across. Refreshingly, 'The Art of Thinking Clearly' by Rolf Dobelli, isn't aimed necessarily at those ideals, more-so at helping to question the way that we make mistakes, judgements and failures and adapt the way we make the decisions that lead to the above. Cognitive biases. So far I've found it to be really, very helpful and interesting. So much so that I want to do a little series post about what I'm learning, in the hope that it may help some of you too!

 *All information is based on the book but adapted so as not to ruin it completely.*

Does Harvard make you smarter? The Ballet Body Illusion.

Summer is drawing to an end, our little bodies are crammed with the remains of bbqs, ice creams and too much booze. Plenty of us are looking at ourselves and thinking; "Right, what new sport do I do to get fit and loose weight?" We look in our local sports centre activities and find ballet dancing. "Aahh I'll do ballet, they look in pretty good shape..." Six gruelling months later, we look in the mirror as we pirouette across the dance floor, and though clearly more in shape, we suddenly realise the illusion that we've fallen for. The ballet body illusion. The beautiful ballerinas are just that because they were chosen for their body shapes. They've been that way all along. How they are designed is a factor for selection and not a result of their activities. Similarly used in marketing campaigns all around; a cosmetics adverts recruits beautiful models to advertise their new make up brand, everyone goes out and buys said lipstick or whatever because they too want to look like the beautiful model. But the model was chosen because of how she already looked? Not because the make up somehow made her beautiful? Once again confusing selection factors with results. Of course it's essential that we all fall for this otherwise nobody would sell anything, but personally I find it interesting because when decision making, it's easy to fall into the ballet body illusion and not notice the bigger picture. 

"For example, Harvard has the reputation for being a top university. Many highly successful people have studied there.  Does this mean that Harvard is a good school? We don't know. Perhaps the school is terrible and it simply recruits the brightest students around?"

By being born happy you tend to continue that trait of your embedded personality and throughout your life see the positive rather than the negative. The people that see the 'glass half full'.

The moral? Be wary of self-illusion. Take a good hard look in the mirror before you make decisions and try to see the situation from a selection factor as oppose to a results one.

Interesting eh?

Love Sophie Xx