Wednesday, 6 May 2015

Things I Thought Watching All Of The Fast & Furious Films.

A couple of weeks ago, Harps gave me the great unassuming pleasure of sitting me in front of the latest Fast & Furious film. I considered getting my book out and ignoring the whole thing but I'd read an article about how the film makers had worked around Paul Walker's passing and it seemed really interesting. With that in mind I sat, asking so many questions that Harps made me promise that I'd watch the others (I'd seen most of them at some stage, just not to remember.) I was full of cold that week and could think of nothing better than sitting in bed all day. For this I had the perfect excuse- "What are you up to this weekend Sophie?"..."Oh I'm being FORCED to sit in bed all day and watch F&F films." Good move right? So it was a win win, I got to flop around and Harps got to educate me...Well almost. I calculated that it would take us approx 12 hours to watch all of the films and we did actually have some things we needed to do on the Saturday, so we watched the first two films on the Friday night, 3-6 on Saturday and the 7th again on Sunday. Here's how it went.

  • Everyone has a really nice tan considering they spend all of their time in cars and garages.
  • Early 2000's fashion was amazing.
  • There is leather trousers of some kind in every film. F&F really loves leather trousers.
  • They're all pretty wasteful. There's a lot of careless bullets left around and cars only seem to last an average of 45 minutes.
  • On the same note, what about all the poor pedestrians and innocent public that get trampled on/murdered by these people running around?!
  • How did Paul Walker's hair get from being so curly to so straight from the first to the seventh movie?
  • Why are there so many female stomachs on show?
  • Why is there a female damsel in every film AND a strong female lead?
  • Are these films just too fast and furious for my poor eyesight? Slow down people!
  • Why is the third film make the others so much more confusing then they need to be?!
  • YES THE ROCK! Film 5 immediately shoots up when The Rock arrives and we all smell what he's cooking! Justice.
  • Oh maybe not, number 6 and they're all best buds.
  • Vin Diesel looks in pain when he smiles. He's like the Kanye of the film world.
  • How big is The Rock's head?!
  • How do I get a massive head like The Rock's? *starts neck stretches*
  • My neck hurts.
  • Awww look at happy Rock smile!
  • Does watching these films teach me about road safety? No it does not.
  • Maybe the bad guys should try their bad-guy business on submarine? Surely they all know after SEVEN FILMS not to be on land?
  • Oh God, film seven- PAUL WALKER NOOOOOO!
  • Vin looks extra sad in this film, I want to hold him.
  • Oh and Jason Statham, do you really think that you have a chance against The Rock or Vin Diesel? No. Just go and look grumpy somewhere else.
  • Have the makers of these films realised that non car enthusiasts are forced to watch these like I am and adapted them to make them less car-ey? 7 definitely seems less car based.
  • And let's just make it clear guys. YOU DO NOT SURVIVE THIS MANY CRASHES.
  • I'll stick to the good ol leg power thanks.
  • It's all kind of awkward to watch Paul laugh off fast driving. 
  • Ride or die is pretty aggressive as a life mantra.
  • Everyone looks really sad in this film. It's making me feel feels.
*Gets to end*

  • YOU WILL ALWAYS BE TOGETHER GUYS! *wails* (Ok I didn't cry BUT it was pretty sad and if I'd understood half of what was happening or remotely liked car films we may have had real tears.)
Love Sophie Xx