Location Location Location: Daymer Bay Beach.

I'd never even heard of Daymer Bay, let alone the fact that it's less that twenty minutes away from Wadebridge, Harp's hometown. It's almost as close as Padstow! So when Harp's mummy visited we all headed for a day at the seaside, much to my utter joy! Can we just all talk about how incredible this beach is? It's the perfect beach for everything! Scenic, shell scattered, sandy beaches, clear seas and some of the best rock pools I've seen in ages! There's also a great little shop and cafe just in the car park, I bought the snazziest bucket and spade I could find with the sole intention of making the greatest sandcastle Cornwall had ever seen. 

Dogs, buckets, spades and smiles in toe we made our way onto the beach. After a while of settling Harps and I started to explore. He ended up climbing so high that he could't remember how to get down from the cliff edge and I got all too excited spotting wildlife- donning my best Attenborough impression, my bucket and spade had a whole new job!

Harps and I gathered an underwater world (and yes we put it all back!) There was a little crab, some rather raunchy snails that maybe had a little orgy, a jellyfish I named Jeremy and a couple of fancy shells. Eventually, sunbathing for a little while incited me to the sea. Not equipped to go for an actual swim, I decided to take the little black dog above for a splash in the water. A sudden wave meant little legs here needed to actually take the plunge and doggy paddle, she freaked the fuck out and promptly clambered up my legs taking refuge in my arms. 

Many giggles and a sneaky ice-cream later, we headed home again.

Have any of you been to Daymer Bay beach? Maybe you'll plan a trip there this summer?

Love Sophie Xx

Poppies & Peonies.

I've become obsessed with my garden. We're lucky enough to have both a front and back garden; I'm banned from having any involvement in the back garden as that's 'where grass should be' so whilst I leave Harps to measure/groom/obsess over his lawn, I've taken to creating the nicest front garden in the street (I may be a little biased ok?)

We wood chipped over the weedy mangle that was there when we moved in almost four years ago. It seemed the easiest way for two total non gardeners who work full time to manage. Weed control is possibly one of the most tedious jobs in all the lands. I almost regret it now though as I spend every sunny moment potting and planting and re-potting and re-planting. The bargain sections of garden centres are practically going out of business thanks to me. This week alone I've planted a honeysuckle (with the intention of it growing over my door like some sort of fairytale...) A peony plant (totally in time for next year to use for my wedding!) My poppies are in full bloom (grown from seed like a magic green fingered giant.) And I have strawberries that I'm on an obsessed slug watch for...

My new plan has become; grow as much as I can ready for next year and save the money on my wedding flowers! Who wants to bet I'll be carrying my own stinging nettles and doc leaves down the aisle next year? 

Tell me all about your gardens!

Love Sophie Xx

Thankful Thursday// June

I may be all a bit out of sync. I knew that June would be a bit of a topsy turvy month; It's Grandpa's anniversary and my main holiday for the year all in one month! Talk about mixed emotions! It's nice to look back and think about it all together. There's so much to be thankful for in the last month, I'm sure to miss loads out...

• One year until we get married passed. Of course I'm thankful for this awesome milestone!
• The two books I read pictured above. 'The Versions of Us' is a great concept, how one choice can impact the course of a whole lifetime. I loved that about this read and am sending it on to Chelsea this week so I'm sure she'll give you a proper review of it! The other book; 'Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend.' Was leant to me by Leona and I read it in an entire day. She knew I'd love it as we discussed 'Curious Incident of a Dog in the Nighttime' and 'Room' (both two great reads.) It was just one of the best books I've read in ages and I'd thoroughly recommend it.
• Speaking of which, I'm pretty thankful for catching up with my gal Leona- wedding planning and conspiracy theory Game of Thrones chats over Wagamamas is a pretty sure way to my heart.
• Working in the prettiest of places. Just look how nice that harbour is above. You're all a bit jealous aren't you? Does it make you feel better that I spend 98% of my day inside?
• The kind words of you all when I was going through my Grandpa funk. It's this little corner of the world that really helps me get through it. I'm feeling better. Thank you.
• Batman making friends. Since we re-potted our parrot plant, Batman's taken to snuggling down next to his friend Piggy in an evening and it really makes me smile.
• Eva & Davis fragrance is my new favourite scent ever. It's pretty hard to find their website though so I'm not entirely sure how to stock up!?
• A dinosaur sticker on the platform floor. Because who doesn't want to see a dinosaur on the floor the morning after watching Jurassic World and dreaming of t-rex's? 
• Toasting marshmallows and putting the world to rights with one of my favourite ladies in the entire land. I always feel so much more centred and positive after time with her and recently we enjoyed the most delicious tapas followed by a sugar coma inducing dessert! 
• A charity golfing event that I helped to organise raised over £1500 for Cornwall Hospice Care. I'm really thankful to everyone who helped support the event!
• Quality time talking about the future and laughing at the past with Harps. Almost eleven months to go!

What are you all thankful for at the moment? Sunshine I'm sure! Thanks Lisette for inspiring me to be more thankful with your beautiful soul (and face!)

Love Sophie XX

The Loneliest Days...

We're here. Somehow another year has passed and though there have been times, days, snippets of time where you've haunted my dreams; nothing quite like these past few nights. How can it be that I can walk upstairs and forget just what I came for, yet four years ago is embedded, itching at my heart as angry as it was all that time ago? 

There have been times in the last week that it's crept. Fathers day brought familiar tears, memories, anger and jealousy. Talking with friends about the song I'll walk down the aisle to was discussed with a pang of guilt, sadness. It'll never be how it should have. The last week, the glass has been less than half empty, there's been a dribble at best.

This morning a man at the train station was smoking a cigar; as the cloud filled the morning air, all I could do is watch the gust lift it to the skies and wish it could carry me on up there with it. To you. At lunch time, a stranger probably not too much younger than you were- late seventies at best, smiled at me and it felt like your smile was radiating through his eyes, reminding me you're still with me. On the train home again, I played every conceivable game with myself to think of anything but you "This year will be different, I'll be stronger." And on arriving home, to the bouquet of beautiful red roses on my doorstep, left there in the evening sunshine by your darling daughter, my darling mother; to comfort me and what tomorrow brings. I finally have broken again.

It isn't so much that I wish you back anymore, I know it isn't what you'd have wanted. It's just the chance to say goodbye. It's the regret that haunts me for not coming to your side, for taking the last days we had together for granted and for the selfishness that I've felt for all this time, yearning you back again.

For now, I'm left with a loneliness in my heart that can't be filled by anyone or anything. Tomorrow it will come strong but I now can trust that it will begin to fade soon after. Somehow that feels even more disloyal. I no longer question whether I make you proud. I step outside every single day with that same intention, I know I'm doing ok.  That's the first time I've said that to myself, "I'm doing ok." And maybe I won't be quite there tomorrow, and maybe not even the day straight after, but I still feel you with me, I feel you as my shadow and I know you're right there keeping the 'John Holmes' in me, even when I feel all alone.

Love Your Sophie Xx

Two Weeks Of Happiness In Photos.

Let's start by just making this clear. I want to be on holiday forever. I need to invent something incredible that the world buys in bulk for the next 50+ years and I can spend my days frolicking around Cornwall as I'm meant to. Any ideas? The last two weeks have been some of the best this year. Thankfully it hasn't felt like one of those really fast holidays and I've really rejuvenated during the time; ready to crack on for the next couple of months until my next little snippet of joy. 

Funnily, the only time I really did try and do some work during my holiday I managed to lock myself out of my email, phone and calendar. Sometimes life just spells it out for you doesn't it? So, what have I been up to? I know all you nosey badgers love to find out! 

We've been pretty lucky with the weather, for the first week Harps was also on holiday and we spent a lot of time catching up with friends and family, burning reading in the garden, Batman adventuring, pilates on the grass and evening walks just for the hell of it. It's nice when you haven't got to worry about what time you need to wake up or getting the shopping for the week to save time; the freedom of breaking routine is the happiest isn't it?

During the first week we also got a lot of wedding plans sorted; even more excitingly, passing the one year mark until the actual day- there'll be more about this later this week so keep an eye out! I caught up with some friends for the less sunny days, scoffing as much cake and hot chocolate that my body could physically handle before passing said 'one year mark' and venturing into my 'health regime'. (Gonna be honest, week number two did NOT help with that *read didn't stop scoffing cake.*) It was all nicely rounded off with family BBQs and Newquay's Electric Beach Festival where we fought the rain to see Backbeat Soundsystem, Dreadzone & The Cat Empire (awesome bands if you've never heard them!) 

The second week I was flying solo, Harps returned to work and I visited my first ever bridal shop! It was a massive disappointment to be honest and despite trying on three dresses- I wasn't sold on any which resulted in mother and I in M&S cafe people watching and gossiping. More little wedding details came together, exaggerating all of my thoughts with Stacie as we spent the loveliest day at the beach. I also popped over to Plymouth to see Liona & Leopard, after a rather one-sided game of ping-pong, we sat admiring the view and catching up before having the tastiest lunch at Wagamamas where they proceeded to mock my spoon fears and we compared Game of Thrones conspiracy theories.When Harps did have a day off we took a trip for the most delicious and fancy cream tea at Carlyon Bay Hotel, overlooking the shoreline in weather that could have easily have been somewhere much more Mediterranean. I may or may not have got a little confused on the walk back and 45 minutes later walked in a complete circle in the blistering heat, bellies full- Harps wasn't best pleased when we looked ahead and saw the hotel sign again...

So that's it. Two glorious weeks all wrapped up into one. You can see just above how 'great' Leona's shot is... I miss this holiday already. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to iron clothes, set my alarm for an early morning and generally get back into routine. 

Love Sophie Xx