Sunday, 22 November 2015

The Train Wanker #1. Until Now...

This is a face of genuine sadness, one evening trying to get home still at 8pm. (I leave work at 4.30pm!)

If we're friends on Facebook (or maybe even in tweet-land!) You may have realised that I, over the last seven months, have started commuting like a real life adult. My commute is pretty hardcore- three hours in total a day and I've been adjusting to train life (totally the same thing as thug life incase you wondered). My daily trips slowly take over my entire social media as I hunt for sympathy on a regular basis and I thought 'Hey why not extend that to my blog and get even more sympathy!" Oh and by the way 'Great Western Railway' if you're reading, I feel that by using the word 'Great' in your name kicks me in the proverbial balls every day. 

So here's the start of my new series, the diary of being a train wanker if you like and I thought I'd do a little catch up to now with a few of my favourites of the magical photos I've taken over the last few months, as well as some desperate posts to the world. 

Top to Bottom: 
  • Spending most mornings fashioning my scarf into a pillow for the train. Tip number one GWR, get complimentary pillows for those having to spend a small fortune on your season passes.
  • That time I took a free coat rack on the train and almost gave up and left it there.
  • Tip number two GWR, (and this is a biggy) I know we live in Cornwall-land and should be happy to even have trains in the first place, but two fucking carriages on the commuters train home from the only city in the bleedy county is actually insane. I spend far too much time standing far too close to strangers.
  • Another sad face for lingering sympathy after a morning train being cancelled and getting anxious about how late I'll be for work.

And lets start with the most recent. Just yesterday I was in a faff first thing...

There's nothing like trees on the tracks, your connection train cancelled all day and some hail to the face to make you feel alive on a Saturday morning 😡‪#‎trainwanker‬

This train smells meaty 😕😒😞🐮🐏🍗🍖

Do you know what I think to myself every morning when I pry myself from bed? 'I really hope the trains are fuckbadgers today and I don't get home until after 8. ..' Must be my lucky day 😬

Train rage.

And this was one particularly bad morning that had a lovely little result of being more than three hours delayed and getting in a whole lot of trouble. Cheers GWR.

Sophie Louise-Anne Russell Eugh got to the station at 7 and the night riviera was at the platform...turns out the brakes have seized to the track and I've been sitting here for over an hour now! They're just about to test it or start ordering coaches 😑

Sophie Louise-Anne Russell I've just seen the man who's fixing the train walk past. I have less faith....He looks like an extra large elvis 😕

Sophie Louise-Anne Russell ELVIS HAS FIXED THE TRAIN! (I really hope anyway. Remember my description if my train crashes from lack of brakes!) X

Sophie Louise-Anne Russell on the Falmouth train and that train got cancelled whilst I was sitting on it because the train driver had to leave to help with the other trains 😐😐😧
Sophie Louise-Anne Russell I am now on a train to Falmouth where some fucking idiot woman is singing loudly to Mariah Carey and gyrating against the trains fire extinguisher. It's all got too much to be honest.....😦

Nothing like getting home from work just before 10pm....

Sophie Louise-Anne Russell feeling distressed.
19 May
So all trains are cancelled from Falmouth. I'm handing out mini cakes to my fellow stranded friends and we're starting a new community at the train station.

And if this all wasn't enough to excite you for my upcoming weekly documentation of just how much Cornwall's railway system is buggered, there is my favourite photo below of a man who simply gave up on life, This is the Monday morning sleeper train where he took the idea of 'sleeper' to the max. Yes that's him on the floor with his ticket by his head. (Told you the pillows would be a good idea!)

Love Sophie Xx